4 steps to not being productive

1) Procrastinate

Anything you can get done today can wait till tomorrow. Or the next day. Or never, really.

That thing you want to do? Yeah. Put it off. Didn’t you always want to read that book on your shelf? Yeah, the dusty one right there. Read that instead.

There’s even that new video game. The one with the fantasy? Or was it the shooting? Doesn’t really matter. You can do that for awhile, at least until you no longer feel like doing that other thing… whatever it was.

2) Social networks

Someone is posting something new on Twitter right… now! Opps. You missed it. Wait, here comes another one. Quick, read it! And this one! And this other thing too! Is that a cat picture too? Gotta click on that, you might have forgotten what cats looked like in the last 45 seconds.

There is drama on Facebook you are missing too. Your one friend doesn’t like her job today. Or mother. Or dog. Or job of watching her mother’s dog. And your other friend, the one with the young children? He has dozens of new photos shared. You might have looked through a set yesterday, but more have been posted in the last hour. And you better get to them too. They aren’t going to ‘Like’ themselves.

3) That spot on the wall

What do you think it looks like?

Maybe, like, a kangaroo standing on its head? Or, I don’t know, a constipated elephant?

It could be all those things. You will need to stare it for several minutes to find out. More if you want to see all the variations.

4) Just give up already

Ugh. It’s too hard, whatever it is. Like, getting up out of your chair hard. Or typing a few hundred words hard. Just… too… difficult. It’s even exhausting to think about, really.

Wouldn’t it feel good to give all that up? To justĀ free up your mind to think about, you know, stuff. Other things. Whatever.

You could even look at that spot again. It might be something different now. You better check it out. Maybe call someone else over to have a conversation about it. Take a picture of it even. Post it on Instagram. It’ll be super interesting.