LIBERTY CITY — The six-car pileup that resulted in three intersections being closed for several hours yesterday is being blamed on what some are calling an ‘indestructible tree.’ While at least two cars collided with it directly, official reports now read, the tree has yet to show any damage. Scientists as far away as San Andreas are being called in to investigate.

The accident, which is thought to have started when one man was texting while driving, began to escalate as his car initially hit the tree and was turned sideways. While normally the tree would have absorbed the impact and resulted in it falling over or cracking, this now nicknamed ‘indestructible tree’ caused the car to turn in place, creating the catalyst for the resulting collisions and six-car pileup.

Although twenty-four hours later, government officials still have the area cordoned off. The tree in question, along with several others, have yet to be moved despite many registered complaints from local neighborhoods and those in passing vehicles of heavy machinery usage throughout the night and early morning within the area.