The Vidalia: Achievements unlock unlock achievements

REDMOND, WA — In a press release sent out today, a Redmond-based company confirmed that their latest entertainment system will support unlocking achievements for any achievements unlocked in the past, present, and future. Starting on their next system, unlocking any achievement will itself unlock an achievement for that achievement unlocking.

“We believe in rewarding players,” confirmed a company spokesperson in a video interview with a major news site. “For every achievement they get, be that from watching a video, playing a game, or just keeping their system on for several days straight, we want to reward them for that dedication. We feel that achievements are something that can lead to other achievements. Achievements for achievements for achievements,” she finished, trailing off into silence before repeating the word again. “Achievements.”

When asked to comment on how this might affect players, the same spokesperson confirmed that an individual’s gamerscore was still important, noting “Gamescore is still a score of much a person is a gamer. Clearly, the more devoted a person is to spending all of their time on our systems, we want to give them points for that. These new achievements are simply a way for a gamer to show much they game.”