The Vidalia

The Vidalia: Studio refuses to release game ever, cites piracy concerns

AUSTIN, TX — A game studio has left word on their blog this morning that they will not be releasing a game this year, or ever again. Citing among their reasons “players won’t give us all their money for no reason” and “game dev is hard,” the studio lists their primary reason for refusing to publish their latest game as “probably piracy concerns.”

“Right now, no one is pirating our game,” starts one coherent paragraph within the several thousand word post. “We want to continue that trend into future. The only way we see to make sure no one pirates our game is to not release it. Ever.” Continuing for many more paragraphs and switching fonts at least three times, the post ends with six winking emoji in a row.

While promising the studio will continue to work on more games in the future, a boyfriend of someone who used to work at the studio for a few months commented that the post was “totes real” in its sentiment. “Yeah, they are like that,” he said, asking to remain anonymous. “I mean, they haven’t released a game yet anyway. But now? Like, yeah, probably not ever.”